I don't like Roosters.

So have you just ever fixiated on something so ridiculous, but it doesn't matter, you decide you have to have it and nothing will matter until you do?  You won't rest until you do.  It defies all logic but it simply doesn't matter.  Well, let me introduce you to the newest member of our family.  Here he is, in all his plumage.  THE Rooster.  He's finally mine!!!  This outragous quest began almost 3 years ago.  There is this little neighborhood Mexican restaurant that we go to all the time called Papa Gallos.  One day, a few years back, we went in and they had this amazing rooster sitting on the counter, right by the front door.  It's the perfect color for my new house and I decide I have to have it.  For almost 3 years I drove the poor famliy that runs this place crazy.  I begged, I tried bartering, I harassed, I tormented, I thought about hiring a guy named Guido. I may have even contemplated stealing this rooster (it was close to the front door).  Our buddy Steve and I negotiated relentlessly.  First it was, where can I get one?  He tells me they bought the last one and got it on sale.  Would you guys consider selling it to me??  "Oh no, I don't think we could part with it"  It's just a rooster right, what's the big deal.  He tells me it was $300 (for a stinkin Rooster??) another time it was $200, "just be patient Leslie".  At one point I had him down to $60 but of course he doesn't remember that.  Then it was "No" again.  For cryin out loud??  I even gave up for a several months and then I didn't go there for a while.  I would like to think it was just because I was just busy, but I wonder, was it the rooster??  I would hope not but I can't really tell you.  My husband loves their chili rellenos, so we go back.  I will not even ask about the stinkin rooster, you see I think I'm actually a little mad now. 

Awhile passes again.

The next time we go MY rooster is gone!!!  I'm shocked!  Who took MY rooster and why didn't my buddy Steve call me?  Traitor. This can't be.  It has been replaced by a larger one and it looks a little angry.  Is it trying to tell me something?  Did it eat the other one?  Scare it off?  Now I'm distraught.  This is a little embarrassing.  I couldn't even bring it up. 

Still, more time passes.

So one day, a girlfriend of mine claims she's craving Mexican food.  So where else?  Of course, Papa Gallos.  We park.  Get out of the car.  Reach for the door knob.  I close my eyes.  I take a deep breath.  "Just do it Leslie" I tell myself.  We enter my own personal Twighlight Zone.  And there is Steve.  "Hey how are you Leslie?  Good.  "Hey, do you still want that rooster?"  Are you kidding me?  My mouth is hanging open.  Has he lost his mind?  He can't be serious?  As my Coast Guard daughter would say, "WTF Mate"?  It must be him that has lost his mind.

I really couldn't think how to answer that utterly insaine question.  YES, YES, YES!! How much?  Are you kidding me?  I thought it was gone.  You have it?  And he seriously says to me "I thought you didn't want it anymore".  Again, I think, WTF Mate??  "Oh we just stuck it in the attic".  It has been there all this time, while I suffered, it sat in the freakin attic!  I can't even begin to explain this to my friend, she already thinks I'm crazy.  So, we ate lunch, I write my 100 dollar check, seat belt that bad boy in the front seat of my car.  And now, finally at long last, it sits in my kitchen, in all it's feathered magnificant glory!

Wanna see it again?

Ahhhhhhhh.

I don't even like Roosters.

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